The Bunkest/Episodes/Season 1: Bunkest Scouts
"Bunkest Scouts" is the nineteenth episode of the first season of The Bunkest. Synopsis The Bunkmates form a scout group and go on a camping trip. Hilarity enuses. Transcript Narrator: Ah, Bikini Bott-, err I mean ze Bunkest! Shit! Moch: ...I feel like camping today! Moon Snail: Cool. ...Why? Moch: I dunno. Just randomly felt the urge to go camping. Moon Snail: Okay? Well, I won't object, but I found it a bit strange and- Moch: Random? Moon Snail: ...OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO- Madi: '''I just heard you guys say that you were going camping! I'd love to come along! Maybe some of my Pokemon are gonna come along! '''Moch: What Pokemon are you gonna bring? Madi: '''Gust, Ursa, Zippity DoDa, and Exploud! I've already got my belt on! '''Tornadospeed: I'd love to go camping, but you guys remember what happened last time, right? (Cutaway shot to a massive raging forest fire, and Madi's Charizard, Charlie looking really guilty) Madi: '''You are never going on a camping trip again! (Cut back to the Bunkest) '''Moch: Relax! This time, we're gonna make fire the old-fashioned way, with sticks and rocks! Tornadospeed: That doesn't make me feel any better. Timebomb: How about we go somewhere scenic like the Foolish Magistrate's village? Moon Snail: Yeah! Or maybe anywhere else. Bob: Moon Snail! Moon Snail: What? Flametail: I was thinking somewhere more segregated. Like, maybe out in the meadows. Tornadospeed: Wait! I know the idea. This is gonna blow all of you people's minds! Madi: What? Tornadospeed: Camp Kidney! (Everyone cheers in agreement) Timebomb: Guys, how 'bout we build a new Random-ness Wiki Van to get us to Camp Kidney? Phineas: The new and improved Random-ness Wiki Van is complete! (Excited murmuring) Timebomb: Alright, let's go! Tornadospeed: Wait! Aren't we gonna pack? Moch: I actually packed while Phineas and Ferb were building the New Random-ness Wiki Van! Check it out. (presents huge camping backpack full of stuff) Tornadospeed: Whoa, real shit? Moch: I got everything we need! I have enough tents to hold all of us, extra comfy sleeping bags, plenty of food and water, all the toiletries we need, you name it. Moon Snail: That looks heavy. Moch: No worries, I work out. Timebomb: Alright, let's go! (Everyone gets in the New Random-ness Wiki Van) BJ: I'll drive. BJ: Alright, we're here! (The van pulls up to the entrance of Camp Kidney) (Slinkman appears and walks up to the driver's window) Slinkman: What is this? Who are you? Ace: We're campers! Slinkman: Campers, eh? Well sorry, but this camp is for Bean Scouts only. BJ: I object. Slinkman: No objections. If you're not Bean Scouts, you can't be here. I don't get paid enough to deal with this. (walks away) Timebomb: Well fine! We'll make our own scout group! Ace: That's a neat idea, actually. Moon Snail: Yeah! We can do cool stuff and earn patches! (General murmurs of agreement) BJ: Alright, let's go drive into the woods then. (The Van drives off) Tornadospeed: You know, I'm glad we didn't get into Camp Kidney. Now we can camp in the woods, like true warriors of the wilderness. Madi: And I'm excited to be a scout and do cool scout stuff! Maybe it might feel like home for Ursa! Right, Ursa? Ursa: Ursaring! Moch: It just to happens that I brought specially-fitted scout uniforms for everyone, and boxes pull of patches we can earn! Moon Snail: That's convenient. Ace: Wait, who's going to be our scoutmaster? (Robbie Rotten appears) Robbie Rotten: I will! Madi: '''Okay...you know what? You should be our scoutmaster. '''Robbie Rotten: Yes! thank you, young lady! Moon Snail: Now that we have a scoutmaster, let's do this trip! (Moon Snail sings "Bunkest Scouts") BJ: This looks like a good spot. (Parks the van) (Everyone shuffles out of the van) Robbie Rotten: Alright! Everyone got their uniforms on? (Literally no one has their uniform on) Robbie Rotten: Just put them on over your normal clothes. We need to move on to our first order of business. (People put their uniforms on) Robbie Rotten: As scoutmaster, I am in charge of awarding patches! And the first patch, the Tent Pitching Patch, will be awarded to everyone who helps put up all the tents! Moch: (Puts down pack and takes out all the tents) Robbie Rotten: And the second patch, the "Please Don't Do This to the Cats" Patch, will be awarded to everyone who ignores the oversexed cat fanatic, who wants to marry a Sagwa character! Timebomb: Hey! Robbie Rotten: The third patch, the "Pokemon Control" patch will be award to whoever keeps control of their Pokemon! Moon Snail: Does this count us? Robbie Rotten: Hmm... Nah. only Madi's Pokemon. The fourth patch, the "Hot Stuff" patch will be awarded to whoever can start a campfire fastest, and the fifth is "Surviving Your Wilderness Fear" patch! Flametail: Easy! (Sets up sticks and shoots flames at them, starting a campfire) Tornadospeed: I thought we agreed to use sticks and rocks! Flametail: Sorry dude, there're patches at stake now. Tornadospeed: Robbie, you gotta cool it with the patches. We haven't even set up the tents yet! Moch: (struggling to pitch a tent) I'm working on it! Robbie Rotten: And I need a co-scoutmaster! Madi: How about me? Robbie Rotten: Okay then. I'll prepare more patches. Bob: Hey, can Moch and I get some help with the tents? Ace: Oh yeah, sure. (The campers gather around a messy bundled-up tent) Moon Snail: Did you bring the instructions, Moch? Moch: Oh, sure, they're around here somewhere. Uhhhh (digs through the huge camping bag for a while) Tornadospeed: I don't know a single thing about tents. Ace: Hey, that tree over there's on fire. (Everyone looks at the tree, which is on fire, and Flametail is hiding behind a rock) Tornadospeed: Oh, goddamnit. (Gust throws a bucket of water onto the flaming tree and puts the fire out.) Ace: Thanks, Gust! Gust: Beautifly! Robbie Rotten: Annoying Cartoon Network characters! Stealing my thunder! Moch: Ah! Here it is! *Tosses the manual over to Ace* Ace: Thanks, Moch. Let's see... (Tent building montage. The campers work together to build all the tents.) Robbie Rotten: I am pleased to announce that everyone here gets a Tent Pitching Patch for their excellent tent pitching work! (Madi hands each camper a patch. There are cheers and high fives all around.) Madi: It seems to be getting dark. It's time to build a fire. And just to be safe, we're only going to build one fire, and we'll award the "Hot Stuff" Patch to everyone who helps. Tornadospeed: I'll go look for some firewood. We'll probably need a few more folks looking elsewhere, too. Bob: I'll go. Ace: Me, too. Madi: Be careful not to get lost! (Tornadospeed, Bob, and Ace all set out in different directions) Timebomb: Now what? BJ: We should probably arrange some rocks in a circle. You know, like a campfire. Flametail: (Holding a big armful of rocks) Oh, I've actually been collecting big rocks this whole time. (Dumps them on the ground in front of him) Bob: (Walks back into camp with an armful of branches) I'm back. Moon Snail: Sweet. Toss those in that rock circle there. (Tornadospeed and Ace come back and add their wood to the pile) (Cut to Madi and Robbie Rotten. Madi is doing a dance and taps Robbie Rotten's leg.) Madi: Er...Robbie? Robbie Rotten: Yes? Madi: I really need the toilet! Robbie Rotten: There's no indoor plumbing around here. Madi: I don't understand why. (Robbie Rotten gives Madi toilet paper and points to a bush.) Robbie Rotten: Behind there. It's private. Madi: I'm afraid, but okay... Robbie Rotten: Don't worry, you'll be fine. (Madi reluctantly walks behind the bush with the toilet paper) Madi: I can do this. Everything will be fine. Deep breaths. (Cut back to the other campers, gathered around the campfire) Flametail: Can I light the fire? Moch: Wait, I got this. (smacks some rocks together a bunch of times) BJ: I know what to do. Does anyone have a mixtape? Madi: (emerges from behind the bush triumphantly) Hey guys! I conquered by wilderness fear! (People clap and say "congratulations") Robbie Rotten: I guess I owe you that patch, huh? Madi: Yes, yes you do. Pixel: (whispering) Hand over the patch... (Robbie Rotten passes over the patch to Madi. Madi sticks it on her sash.) (People clap and say "congratulations") Timebomb: She seriously got a patch for peeing in the woods? Tornadospeed: We can get a patch for peeing in the woods? Hell yeah! (Runs into some bushes) Madi: Only if it’s your wilderness fear! (Moon Snail is at a lake. He grabs a fish out of it.) Moon Snail: Hoo, this is a big one! This has to be worth a patch! (Runs back to the camp) Lookie here! I got a big fish! Madi: Holy moly! That is really big! Nice catch! Moon Snail: Is there a patch for a catch this big? Robbie Rotten: Let me check the Big Book of Scout Patches! (Picks up a huge hardback manual and starts flipping through it). A-ha! Moon Snail, your patch is awarded. (Robbie Rotten gives Moon Snail the patch. Moon Snail sticks it onto his sash.) Madi: I packed the s'mores items! We're gonna make s'mores! Flametail: Oh hell yeah! S'mores are my favorite part of camping! Tornadospeed: And we just got the campfire set up! (Cut to Timebomb and Dongwa making out) Moon Snail: Timebomb, Dongwa, get to work! Tornadospeed: (to Moon Snail) Looks like someone (you) won't get the "Please Don't Do This to the Cats" Patch. Robbie Rotten: Flametail earns the "Please Don't Do This to the Cats" Patch, for ignoring Timedong! Flametail: Man, I'm on a roll! Pixel: ...You got two patches. Bob: Remember, guys. Patches are not a contest. Ace: Yeah. Let's calm down and enjoy some s'mores. (Everyone sits by the fire. Several campers affix some marshmallows to skewers and start roasting them.) BJ: It's funny though. Flametail's the only one who got the "Please Don't Do This to the Cats" Patch, even though nearly everyone here ignored Timebomb as well. Timebomb: People say me and Dongwa overdo it with the smexy things. Bob: Yeah, since you like to sex up cats. Moon Snail: Hey guys, we're about to eat some s'mores here. Please don't ruin my appetite. Madi: (takes her Pokemon from out of their Poke Balls) You want s'mores, guys? Gust: Beautifly, Beautifly, Beau! Exploud: Exploud! Ursa: Ursaring, ursa! Zippity DoDa: Electabuzz! Madi: Okay! (Madi tosses the s'mores to her Pokemon, and they catch them.) Moon Snail: Hey, these are great! May I have some more? ...Oooh, that's why they're called that. Jasmine: Don't eat too many! Don't wanna get bad health! Robbie Rotten: Ha! Don't listen to her! Eat as many as your little Zangoose mouth can handle! Moon Snail: Just a couple more. Robbie Rotten: How about a couple dozen more? Moon Snail: Yeesh. That sounds like too much to handle. Robbie Rotten: You're weak. *Tosses two s'mores over to Moon Snail* (We pan over to Timebomb and Dongwa re-enacting the spaghetti kiss scene from Lady and the Tramp with a s'more) Dongwa: Oh Timebomb... (the two finish eating the s'more and kiss. Everyone but Flametail looks at them and sighs) Robbie Rotten: Ha! You guys just locked yourselves out of the patch! (Flametail winks at the rest of the bunkmates) Dongwa: Hey Flametail... wanna come over to me and Timebomb's recently-purchased RV at bedtime and... um... play? Flametail: *blushes* Maybe... Moon Snail: God damn it, my own boyfriend is being pulled into Timebomb's cat sexing shenanigans. Pixel: Eew, gross! Flametail, don’t buy into it! It’ll traumatize you! Tornadospeed: Hey, this is camping! No sex allowed! Robbie Rotten: All sex-havers will have all their patches taken away! Flametail: Brbrbr! What? What was I talking about? Pixel: Err, nothing! Flametail: Is there something in these s'mores? Dongwa: I laced the s'mores with kitty litter I spread on Timebomb's face during our make-out sessions. Pixel: Laced them with what? Moon Snail: ...Excuse me for one second. (Runs behind a tree and vomits) Tornadospeed: (opens mouth, letting a bit of s'mores fall out) (gets up) I'm going fishing. (picks up fishing gear from a tent and walks to the lake) Timebomb: Dongie did this because ALL OF YOU ARE HOMOPHOBES! Moon Snail: But my lover's a bo- Timebomb: WHO CARES! Dongwa: Me and Timebomb have the right to be a couple, you guys! And we're gonna show it! In bed! Pixel: We're not mad about you two being in love. We're mad about you two ALWAYS talking about fucking, even when we're eating! Robbie Rotten: Well, it's near bedtime... EVERYBODY GO TO BED. Moon Snail: Good. I'm gonna need a reeeeaaalll good rest after the shit that happened tonight. (Everyone goes to bed.) (We see Timebomb and Dongwa snuggling) (Cut to outside the tents) Madi: We're going to have a good day today! Pixel: Oh, good. What's for breakfast? Moon Snail: What are our options? Madi: We could drive to the nearest Waffle House? Moch: What? We're camping! We can't eat at Waffle House! Tornadospeed: Their waffles are gross anyway. Madi: How about... McDonald's. Moch: Okay then... (We cut to Timebomb and Dongwa waking up) Timebomb: Good morning hot Siamese husband. Dongwa: Zaoshang hao, my lover. Category:The Bunkest Category:The Bunkest Episodes Category:The Bunkest Season 1